Fairytales? Dreams?

"No matter how your heart is grieving,

If you keep on believing

The dream that you wish will come true"

-Disney Channel Stars-

Yeah, i agree with this song. But, too bad that this song forgot a thing. That nightmares are also dream.

Lately, i've been getting around my head a lot. Thanks to that, i usually started smirking at things unconditionally everywhere -- which made me looked like a creep. Yeah, i'm just tired with him. I just had a talk with him about 1 hour ago. Chat of course. I just know that he hide something from me. Although i always implanted the word trust in my head, but still. It's hard to do this by myself. I born with nature being suspicious of others. What do you expect from me? Now, things are getting like my most feared nightmare. Yeah, you, and the end of summer. I guess this is what i call nightmare come true. I once dreamed about this thing and when i woke up, i almost cried. It's just very hard losing a best friend. Yeah, and it came true. Not yet, i hope. But what can i do? I don't know about things anymore and i don't know what can i do to make things right. I'm not as strong and as tough as i am on the shell. I always tried to get it together because i want to believe in myself. But now? I don't even know which one is the truth and which one is the best possible answer for thing like this.

"All those fairytales are full of shit.

One more fuckin' love song i'll be sick"

-Maroon 5-

I knew it from the start. Things are too good to be true. So i finally reached the but point huh? Well, this is my story, and it looks like going to have a bad ending. I really hope there will still be a sequel for this story. So i can reach my own happy ending. But is it right for me to wish? I admit that i always pray, to always be his best friend. But i don't know. Maybe i'm too sinful to be granted. I don't know. Also, the fact is, almost 80% of my songs in my itunes always reminded me of him. The songs that we used to sing together and laugh our ass out because of the funny lyrics and other things. Now, it all hurting me back. The more i remember about him the more i am hurt.

Reflecting, i had a hunch. I think all of this, all of my sufferings, came from one problem and one single statement. The problem that we had when i finally snapped out of my head and told him to not being a chicken and he only replied me with "Sorry for being like this and i think i depend on you too much, i'll fix it." You know what? I never mind it. Being depended on too much? I don't care. I already prepared to give you my all. But you don't seem to get it. Yeah, thanks mr bold.