Ok, actually i don't really care about all of that small thing. Actually, i just made a big confession to someone whom i consider as my bestfriend. about 3 days ago. beforehand, im already hesitating to told him this secret. yes. but i don't know how much stupidity i've pilled up till now, i've told him. i know that he would hate me if he knows this.
So, i told him via msn as usual. and when i told him, his reaction isn't like what i thought. he's rather embracing than judging. well, almost. some reason i already had some negative feelings back there. i have some thinking like "well, you're not judging, for now". i know i shouldn't think like that. friends doesn't doubt each other. but i can't help to feel that the atmosphere changed since i've told him that secret.
The day after, since im too busy with my works, i don't have so much time to chat with him and at night im too tired to chat and ended up with bad typing such as mistype. and it lasted about 2 days and well, in the end we didn't chat a lot. Well, actually i can't blame on him. It's just about some event with coincidence that im insecure after told him that secret and we didn't chat a lot because of our business. a coincidence right?
And now, he had 3 subject to fix since he said to me he had bad grades. well, means that he'll less online for sometime. nice.
i know i shouldn't be like this. But i just can't help myself to be like this. well, for some reason it doesn't feels like before. like he doesn't really care to spare some time to chat with me. well, everythings changed. i know i should be prepared for this kind of this things since i told him that secret. yes i should've known. but im not really prepared to lose a bestfriend right now. but no i shouldn't think like that.
Argh this thing is complicating inside me i hate this kind of things. well, at least i learned one thing from this event. i shouldn't trust someone with 100% feeling. just 70% is enough. that's it.
No comments:
Post a Comment